So officially by the stats, we've reached 5 weeks.

Dear Bean,

Someday you may read this and wonder what your mother was thinking... But it's been years that you were in the planning. We waited so we could provide you with the best possible life, and we want you to know that there has never been a child more wanted than you. I charted my temperatures every day to make sure we had the best possible chance of bringing you into the world. And I was taking pre-natal vitamins for the last two years in order to make sure you were as healthy as I could make you. No matter what happens, we have tried to make sure that you came into being under the best circumstances we could provide for you.

I find it truly ironic that you were conceived over Labor Day weekend... Even more amusing that by the calendar, you should be due on Memorial Day weekend. It's like my life seems to want to work around three day weekends. *chuckle* Appropriate, since as of right now your due date is exactly 11 years from the day your father and I met. We met on May 29th, 1999. Right now you're due on May 29, 2010. If you're born on your due date, I will find this highly appropriate. :)

The morning I found out I was pregnant with you (just last week, on September 22), I told your father after he woke up in the morning. I'll admit, his first reaction was to blush, and say "I haven't had enough coffee to get this kind of news yet." *laugh* You probably know by now that your father doesn't do mornings very well without his coffee. Forgive him, he's not a morning person. ;) The next morning I went to the doctor who confirmed that you were here.

It's been less than a week since we found out, and your father has already been somewhat overprotective of me... When we were getting ready to go to faire last week and had a lot of heavy lifting to do, he started taking boxes from me, saying he was getting himself ready to have to do that on a regular basis. *grin* Your father may be Mr. Cranky-pants on occasion, but he's got a good heart in there. He'll do fine when you make your appearance on the world, he's already starting to be the doting father.

I'll admit, it's not been the most pleasant of experiences yet, namely because I've been somewhat nauseous, although I can fortunately say I haven't actually been victim to morning sickness yet. Tums have been my friend already, but fortunately they have been doing the job. If I'm really busy, I won't notice it. I'm a little tired, and I haven't been sleeping well, but I'll admit I never have been a good sleeper. I got it from your grandfather, hopefully I won't pass that habit on to you. :)

I'm feeling a little funny feeling on the forward right side of my belly, just below where my appendix is, and I'm thinking that's probably you. Hopefully I'll find out when I go in for my first appointment on October 15.

There are so many things I want to say right now, but I'm not quite sure yet how to put them into words. I have to clean the house, because I want to make sure you aren't going to wind up in a dirty home. If I ever tell you to clean your room, it's because I don't want you to make some of the same mistakes I have in life. Really, it's for your own good, much as you may not really see it that way at the time. If you ever really want to know why, ask me about your grandmother and why it's important to make sure you don't own too much stuff. :)

I hope you forgive me in advance for some of the things I'm going to do along the way, because I won't do everything right. I won't know everything, and I won't always know what's right. But trust me when I say that just like I have tried to give you the best before you were conceived, I want to give you the best now. You may not always agree with me, and for that matter I may not always be right, but I will always be doing what I feel is the best for you.

I'm currently watching the National Parks special on PBS that your father has probably shown you fifty billion times by the time you read this. We made the decision to finally start to bring you into the world when we were on vacation earlier this year, back in May, when we went to San Diego Wild Animal Park and Zoo, and Lake Arrowhead (where Theresa and Jim live), San Bernadino National Park, Sequoia National Park, King's Canyon, Yosemite National Park, Muir Woods... I have always loved the outdoors, and I think your father finally realized the beauty in it enough to schedule our whole trip... And by now you should know how much your father loves to schedule things, which is to say, he doesn't. :)

They say right now you're less than the size of an appleseed, and you barely even have the equipment that could be eventually considered to be a heart, a head, or limbs... But you're here. And you're ours. And you're loved.

Bean, no matter who you turn out to be, you have been wanted from the start. I hope someday you'll be reading this and realize just how much your parents love you.

I'll try and update this on a regular basis. I know this is somewhat disjointed, and it may be hard to follow, but your mom's going through a lot of emotions right now, not the least of which are because her hormones are completely outta whack. Forgive me, hm? :)