12 weeks...

Wow. It's 12 weeks today. I've never had a pregnancy go this far or look this good.

I'm still scared every time I walk into the doctor's office... I shouldn't be, but I am. The doctor thinks everything looks fine at this point and she's not worried.

I suppose I will be worried until the day I die at this point, but experience has taught me a few things... I'm happy, I'm excited, I'm buying fabric for baby blankets and making baby socks for other people's kids, but I'm still extremely nervous.

A part of me wants to get a doppler and track the baby, but Karen told me to reconsider, that you're blasting the kid with soundwaves on a regular basis when you do that. *sigh* A part of me just wants to stop worrying.

I wonder if I should pick up a doppler just to confirm things now and again. Like once a week. I don't need to check every day, especially not once a kid starts moving, but I just want to reassure myself that everything's okay.

I can't wait to see the kid move again tomorrow, or to find out the odds of issues on Wednesday (hopefully good odds).

Life is funny sometimes. I so want to have a baby, but I'm terrified all at the same time.

Yeah, i'll be worried forever. But for now, I can at least be happy at the same time that things look good.

I can go back to being worried in a couple of weeks when they stop doing weekly scans. Maybe i can convince the doc to do a scan during the week before Christmas? i'd feel so much better...