I love my OB/GYN.

So this morning, I had the "follow-up".

When the nurse originally called me back for taking my vitals, she hadn't been aware of the D&C the previous week, and so asked me how far along I was (the records of my D&C were at the hospital center, and while they were in the computer, they hadn't linked them together yet), and I wound up crying in the office, but she was kind and hugged me and apologized for making me cry, she hadn't known. She linked the doctor's notes with the hospital center notes so it wouldn't happen again. It was only a few minutes later I went in to see the doctor, surprising considering normally her office is packed to the gills.

First, everything seems to be fine. Something I hadn't been aware of at the time (or at least, I might have been aware of it at the time and the propophol completely chased it out of my head) was that my OB did a suction D&C, and sent the contents out for a chromosomal analysis (results not yet back). She said that a large percentage of miscarriages are due to chromosomal abnormalities, especially as we get older, but doing a chromosomal analysis would also tell us more towards the future and what might or might not be expected.

Fortunately, even though it's only been a little over a week, she also cleared me for "returning to active duty", otherwise known as "practice". She suggested waiting one cycle to TTC again, just to "reboot" the system and ensure a healthy lining for the next one, but that we could practice in the meantime with a barrier method to just hold things off for the first month. As she put it, while plenty of women get pregnant before their first period, there's a slightly increased chance of a second miscarriage if they go back too soon, because the lining hasn't had the chance to build up (she also warned me the next period might be heavier than expected, since the new lining might not have as good a grip due to the D&C). She said the emotional turmoil of the miscarriage might be the only thing I might want to wait to get over before trying again. Basically, after waiting a month, she said to try as soon as I felt I was ready to do so.

*chuckle* She also said she loved me as a patient, because I actually look up everything and research incessantly before walking into her office, so when she describes things I don't just have this blank stare on my face, I know what to expect, and can ask more appropriate questions. Most of what she said I expected to hear, but I wanted confirmation more than anything else (that, and to be cleared for takeoff, so to speak). She said the basal temping I'm getting is absolutely normal, even with the whole degree swings over only a day or two, just because it'll take a month or two for things to settle down again (she also suggested NOT using basal temping as a good method of determining non fertile times right now, even though she didn't tell me to stop, because the basal temps are going to swing so wildly I might not be able to determine O time before my next period. I can keep temping, just don't expect it to tell me anything reasonable).

She also said that even though women over 35 are referred to as "advanced maternal age", they're discovering more and more often that it's actually not as high risk for women as originally thought (although yes, the older you get the more likely you are to have issues with Down Syndrome and other possible fetal issues, the risk to the mother is actually not as bad). With all of the women waiting until their mid to late thirties to have children, they're getting a larger database of studies on older mothers.

Heck, there was a woman in her mid 40's out in the waiting room, looking about 7 or 8 months.

But what really made me love this woman... When I started crying, she gave me hugs, and told me that any time I wanted to stop into her office, whether it be to ask her questions or just to cry on her shoulder, I could just walk in and ask them to slot me in. She'd had a miscarriage herself, years ago, and so she really does understand what I'm going through. Of course, this explains why it takes so long to get in to see her, if she constantly slots people in unannounced, but it also explains why everyone is so willing to wait. She really does understand.

She even agreed that my mother is NOT the person to be telling about the miscarriage, especially considering my mother's reaction to my MS diagnosis ("Why are you crying? You have no reason to cry!").

I think nothing helps getting through this more than knowing that my OB actually *knows* what I'm going through instead of just vaguely understands from a clinical point of view (such as if I had a male OB or one who'd never miscarried herself).

The husband has been a blessing in all of this, bringing my notes with him so I don't have to remember it, being the shoulder to cry on, and taking notes so I won't have to remember those later, either.

I'll just say I feel better today than I did yesterday. I'm still upset and I know it's going to take a while to get through this (if nothing else because the hormones themselves might have me crying on a dime). But she made me feel a whole lot better about TTC after this. According to her 40% of pregnancies in general end in miscarriage, and most of those go on to have perfectly healthy pregnancies after that. She's fairly certain there shouldn't be a problem after this, although no-one can ever be 100% sure. But she made me feel better about trying again. I'm still going to be upset for a while, and that's natural. But she definitely made me feel better. She's not just a clinical doctor, she also understands the emotional aspect as well, and for that I can be grateful.